TL/DR: Start with these questions before using the retail store’s registry checklists
Before you even tell your retail store registry app your due date, it’s going to come up with a list of 100+ things they deem essential for you and your new baby. From onesies to socks to bouncers to nursery decor, you’re going to be bombarded with endless suggestions. Some items on these checklists might be a quick and obvious “no way” (ie: a fuzzy car seat cover when you live in Texas), some of the items might be a quick and obvious “yes!”, but most of the items might have you wondering if it’s something you need or not.
Besides the registry apps, marketing emails and the aisles in the store that make baby products and clothes look so appealing, there’s this added influence from social media and well-meaning family and friends. Your sister-in-law who has 3 kids might be giving you advice on which cribs are the best, which stroller system to invest in, and which diapers gave her kids a rash. You might have a favorite IG influencer that you follow who is a few months ahead of you on her pregnancy journey and she is collaborating with different baby gear brands– and it makes you wonder if you should consider those products too.
There are a lot of marketing dollars spent on making new parents think their lives will be better with the baby products. And while some products absolutely are helpful, there are so many products on the market that either do nothing for the parent or baby, or are claiming to solve a problem that isn’t actually a problem at all.
So, with the onslaught of information, checklists, and marketing– how is a new parent supposed to figure out what they actually need to have for their baby?
New babies really only need these few items, but that’s for a different blog post. But if you’re trying to set up a nursery and the rest of your home for a newborn, there are some questions you can ask yourself so you can get clear on your needs and your goals as a new parent. I asked Lexi Tabor, a new parent specialist who is our go-to on all things baby gear for her input. She regularly works in-depth with parents to help them figure out exactly what they need and don’t need based on their lifestyle, their goals, their preferences, and their budgets. She gave me the CliffNotes version of the interviews she conducts with her clients.
Think about your needs and goals for each section of new parenthood & your baby’s development
Feeding your baby
Before putting a bunch of bottles, nipples, and warmers onto your registry, first determine your feeding plan:
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Do you want to breastfeed?
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Are you planning to formula feed?
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Is pumping something you’re considering?
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Is there any combination of feeding you’re comfortable with or not comfortable with?
Additionally, it’s important to consider how soon you’re returning to work (if you are) and how your feeding plan may vary to accommodate that. Whichever way you choose to feed your baby is great and completely up to you, but it’s important to set yourself up for feeding success as well as your own personal wellbeing.
Instead of registering for a bunch of random bottles or nursing supplies, with little to no reasoning behind it– work with a lactation consultant or postpartum doula to help you find the right bottles, bottle nipples, and anything else you might need for feeding your baby. They can help you select the few things you need to get ready for your new baby right now, and have helpful suggestions in the queue based on your baby and their needs after they arrive.
Baby (and parental) sleep
Ideally, you want your baby to sleep as best (and as safely) as they can while giving yourself as much solid rest as possible. We aren’t here to convince you to co-sleep, to tell you that you must put your baby in a crib, or anything else. We want to help you consider a few key factors that might help you make a decision about sleeping arrangements, and whether or not you splurge on a nice crib and bassinet, or if maybe you need to invest in a bigger family bed.
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Where do you WANT your baby to sleep? And how will this change over the course of the next few months of their life?
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Do you have a partner to help you at night? Or will you be handling most night wakings?
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What kind of birth are you planning? How will your recovery impact your sleep needs or physical limitations in the night time?
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How are you feeding your baby in the middle of the night?
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Do you feel comfortable and educated about co-sleeping?
Instead of registering for new sleeping set-ups, crib sheets, or baby monitors, register for some overnight support services or a gentle sleep coach to help you and your family establish manageable and safe sleeping habits, as well as help you and your new baby get as much rest as possible.
Getting around with your baby
This is an important thing to think about and it really varies depending on where you live and what you have access to.
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Do you have a vehicle that you’ll be using with your baby on the regular?
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How often do you need to get around with your baby? (ie: work, daycare, socialization, older children’s activities, etc)
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Will you be using public transportation? How often?
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Is your town or city walkable? Do you feel comfortable doing that with your baby?
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What is the weather like where you are?
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Are you interested in baby wearing?
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Do you need a stroller for everyday use? Or do you want to have one for use here and there?
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Do you have any physical limitations or special considerations that may influence your decision?
When it comes to getting around with your baby, it’s really important to think about where you are and what your needs truly are before putting a big stroller system onto your baby registry or getting the fanciest car seat. You may be better off with a hand-me-down stroller and baby carrier and use the extra funds to pay for a postpartum doula, a massage, or a mommy-and-me class.
Baby Play and Development
Most registry checklists will include a long list of baby play yards, mobiles, black and white flashcards, noisy toys and a bunch more “must-haves” to ensure your baby develops on track. However many of these items aren’t completely necessary. Before you put any play or developmental items onto your baby registry, ask yourself these questions:
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How big is my space? Do I have room to fill it with toys and other contraptions?
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Do you have other kids or pets that your baby will need to share space with?
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What parenting styles do you want to use or avoid (ie: Montessori, Reggio Emelia, etc)
It might be worthwhile, instead of registering for a mountain of baby toys that may or may not be used (and will likely collect dust and pet hair), you might want to register for some new parent groups, look for library programs, or join a music class. This way your baby will receive the sensory input and stimulation they need while not filling your house up with stuff!
Postpartum Care
Questions to help you get clear on what you might need during your postpartum period:
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Are you planning on a vaginal or cesarean birth?
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Do you have a partner, close friends, or family nearby who can help you while you’re recovering?
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Do you have other children to care for?
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If you have pets, who will walk them, clean up after them, feed them?
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Does your partner have time that they can take off after your baby is born? If they do take the time off, will that be a financial burden for your family?
If it turns out that you might be more alone than with other people during your postpartum period, you might consider the baby items on the market that will help you do things in a more manageable way, ie: baby carriers, some sort of comfortable and safe place to lay while you’re tending to other children, household maintenance, or your own needs. This also might have you considering actual hands-on help from support providers who can tailor their services to meet your exact needs.
If you’re still not sure what you need for yourself and your baby, work with a BeHerVillage Gift Registry Advocate
These pros have been trained to know the best products for families based on their needs and how to best pair them with support and self-care for an optimal postpartum experience.
BeHerVillage is helping parents like you get the funds they need for the support they deserve! Are you having a baby and are looking for support? Create a registry for support today and get gifted funds directly into your bank account to pay for your support team. You deserve this.
Are you a birthworker who supports new moms? Use BeHerVillage to help your clients pay for your support. Create your free profile here and you can be the best baby shower gift a mom will ever get!
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