Where To Turn for Support When Your Family Isn't Close

Written by: Janel Duffy
Posted: March 13, 2022
For the last five years, Motherly has connected with their communities and mothers everywhere to ask: “How are you doing? No REALLY, how are you?” Imploring mothers and caregivers to answer questions about their transition into parenthood, their sex lives, the state of the world from their perspective, household chores, burdens and burnout in motherhood, and more.

The results from their 2021 survey proved some interesting stats, one being: 66% of mothers say they would appreciate more emotional support from a non-family ‘village.’ That’s a lot of mothers. So we have to ask the question: why aren’t they getting this support? Part of it may be that this kind of emotional support might be tricky to locate and find one that aligns with a family’s needs and desires, but likely, the issue is that emotional support services are expensive. Birth doulas, postpartum doulas, lactation support, maternal mental health providers, and new mom groups are all support services that typically aren’t covered by insurance, and for those services that are, the selection of providers is minimal.

What does it even mean for a mother to have emotional support services?

It means having someone in your corner walking with you through whichever stage of motherhood you’re in, reminding you that you’ve got strength and wisdom, encouraging you to take a nap when you need to, and also acknowledging that sometimes, this is really freaking hard. 

And for anyone on the fence about why these support services are necessary, have them read this article: How to Respond When Your Family Questions Your Baby Registry

And why the distinction between a non-family “village” and family members who just want to help? I can’t speak for Motherly, but I can speak from my own experience. I gave birth to my daughter over a thousand miles away from my nearest family member. A family “village” was simply not accessible for me. I had dear friends who lived close by but like most people in the 21st century, they worked during the daytime hours when I needed help feeding myself or doing laundry, and again like most people, they slept at night when I needed someone to help me nurse my baby. It’s not always feasible to have the help of family but then there’s another version of this where an excited aunt might be begging to help, but for whatever reason, a mama just doesn’t feel good about accepting it (for more on that, check out this article: What's the Difference Between a Postpartum Doula and Your Well-Meaning Aunt? 

Be Her Village is helping mothers get this non-family “village” with our gift registry where families can receive the funds they need to pay for support services. 

As easily as a mother might register for a stroller, or a pack and play, with Be Her Village, she can register for a postpartum doula, pelvic floor PT, or even a massage.

Just like family members buy the whole stroller, or contribute to some of it, a mother’s family can contribute as much as they want to whichever support services are on the registry. 

Mothers are asking for support. Let’s support them.

A Be Her Village registry can be created for free at BeHerVillage.com

Are you a support provider? Love this mission? Join us as a listed provider at BeHerVillage.com/partners

BeHerVillage is helping parents like you get the funds they need for the support they deserve! Are you having a baby and are looking for support? Create a registry for support today and get gifted funds directly into your bank account to pay for your support team. You deserve this.

Are you a birthworker who supports new moms? Use BeHerVillage to help your clients pay for your support. Create your free profile here and you can be the best baby shower gift a mom will ever get!
Category: Postpartum Planning
Tags: doula , birth support , lactation consultant , postpartum doula , the fourth trimester


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