TL/DR: Stay away from Google when it comes to your pregnancy questions, find people you trust instead.
There’s no question that pregnancy is FULL of unknowns. So many questions, so many hormones, so many changes. Some expectant moms find themselves surprisingly relaxed by all of the newness and ups & downs, and some others feel anxious and nervous about every weird feeling and “what-if” scenario. Even if you’re trying to be extra cautious for the sake of your baby’s wellbeing, I’m begging you– especially if you’re the anxious type– to stay away from Google and the rest of the internet when it comes to your questions about pregnancy. But even for the non-anxious mom-to-be, there are just certain parts of the internet that you should avoid during pregnancy, for your mental well being.
While this list could be infinitely longer, here’s a short list of the four major things you should avoid Googling while you’re pregnant:
#1. Every possible complication
There is an endless abyss of potential pregnancy complications, and it’s natural to worry about you and your baby’s health. However, constantly searching for every thing that could go wrong has the potential to turn your pregnancy into a 9 month long panic attack. If you’ve experienced loss, or if family and friends have had complications in pregnancy, you might especially feel on high alert at all times. However, if you talk to any other mom who spent her pregnancy Googling, I bet they’ll tell you that it never made them feel better.
What to do instead if you’re nervous or anxious about potential complications
It’s important that you work with a trusted provider for the duration of your pregnancy. Your OB or midwife should be your first point of contact when it comes to questions and concerns about complications. You can let them know if you feel anxious, you can let them know what you’ve been Googling, and you can ask them to help you get clarity and feel more relieved about your pregnancy. It’s also beneficial to work with a mental health provider for the duration of pregnancy, this way you can address your worries out loud with a professional who can help you deal with anxieties or other intrusive thoughts. In addition to working with your OB or midwife and a mental health specialist, it’s a great idea to consider hiring a birth doula for the duration of your pregnancy. They can help you feel more at ease about your pregnancy and birth, and many doulas offer some sort of text message service so you can ask a trusted professional your questions instead of turning to the internet.
#2. Birth Horror Stories
If you look hard enough, well actually, you don’t even have to look that hard, you can find every kind of birth story imaginable. Ones where everything goes smoothly, and ones where everything goes really really wrong. We are totally in favor of folks sharing their birth stories (no matter how traumatic), because it can be cathartic and healing– BUT – we always encourage expectant moms to avoid seeking out birth horror stories as it can lead to stress and extra anxiety about birth. Going down a birth horror story rabbit hole on Google (or anywhere on social media) will pull your mind in a million directions, creating a false sense of worry and fear. Seeking out birth stories to help prepare you for birth is great, but searching the internet at random might lead you to stories or even just headlines that make you afraid of birth.
How to learn about birth without accidentally stumbling upon a worst case scenario birth story:
Instead of searching the internet at random for birth information, you should first talk with your OB or midwife. They can inform you on protocols, stages of labor & birth, and what to expect. Another great tool is to work with a private childbirth educator (you can find one near you on the BeHerVillage Registry Guide). They can work with you to tailor your education to address your style, desired experience, your fears and anything else for a custom education experience. If you want to hear birth experiences, seek out stories from people with positive birth experiences in the setting you’re planning. If you’re having a home birth, you should ask for home birth stories. If you’re planning on a hospital birth, see if you can get some positive stories from people you know who gave birth where you’re giving birth. This way, the information will be filtered in a way to help you maintain a positive mindset when it comes to birth, rather than the endless click-baity titles.
#3. Strict Do’s and Don’ts Lists
Besides avoiding drinking in excess or taking hard drugs, there aren’t that many strict lists of things you should or should not do (obviously, listen to your provider if they’ve told you that something is a strict yes or no). However, you can find lots of places online where you’ll see lists of things you HAVE TO DO as well as things YOU MUST AVOID. The problem with finding these online is that:
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The internet does not know your unique body, unique pregnancy, or unique circumstances
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The internet is not a medical or certified professional
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Anybody can write anything on the internet
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Pregnancy information is always changing and evolving
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You can almost always find conflicting information
Instead of heading to Google to find out what you can and can’t do, try this:
I get it, sometimes you need an answer quickly for a question you have, like if you’re out to eat and the sauce is made with raw fish (?? idk, I’m not a chef), you might check online for a quick answer to backup your gut feeling. But if you’re thinking of questions throughout the day, keep a running list in your notes in your phone or in a notebook and instead: ask your provider, ask your doula, or ask a dedicated professional. Some places you might find conflicting information:
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Movement: you can find equally long yes/no lists for exercise, yoga, running, weightlifting, etc. Instead of checking online, look for a movement instructor or coach who has certificates and education in the specific movements you’re interested in who can answer your specific questions for your body type and stage in pregnancy.
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Nutrition/Food: To eat the sushi or not. Avoid certain foods or not. What to eat when you’re craving everything but can’t keep anything down. These questions are better answered by a pregnancy nutrition practitioner rather than a list that you get from a quick Google search.
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Massage/Body Work: Will massaging your feet send you into labor? (Maybe you’re 41 weeks pregnant and want that) What kind of massage is best for a mom with sciatic pain. Work with someone who specializes in pregnancy/postpartum massage and bodywork to get tailored answers (and massages) for exactly where you are in your pregnancy.
Anything you find online should be presented as a suggestion, with an emphasis on talking to your providers and doing further research.
#4 Late-Night Symptom Searches
It’s happened to the best of us. It’s 1am and suddenly you’re wide awake noticing that some weird feeling in your foot is now a bit louder than it was earlier in the day. Or you hear your stomach gurgle in a way you’ve never heard before. There’s something about the stillness of the night and a pregnant belly that makes some moms running to the internet to have Dr. Google diagnosing every single twitch or tight muscle. Of course, there are cases where there is something serious happening and a Google search saves the day, but more often than not, the late-night symptom search will give you more anxiety than it gives relief (not to mention the strain and stimulation those phone lights give your eyes at night).
If you’re experiencing symptoms at night, try to stay off of Google, and try this:
Keep a log of the symptoms and when they occur and bring them up to your OB or midwife at your next visit. If your doula offers text message services, you can ask your questions via text as they come up. Consider joining a virtual or in-person pregnancy group, this way you can meet with other moms in the same stage of pregnancy as you so you can talk about the little nuances and other annoying things that come up during pregnancy. You might find a new pregnant friend to text instead of scrolling through Google answers.
The saying goes “embrace the journey”...but I’m not going to tell you that, because sometimes the journey is too hard, uncomfortable or nerve wracking. And that’s okay.
What I will suggest, though, is that in order to keep your sanity and to get through your pregnancy, you avoid using Google as your sidekick for advice and direction. Instead, build yourself a solid and trustworthy support team of providers and mom friends to help you feel empowered, healthy, and less alone.
BeHerVillage is helping parents like you get the funds they need for the support they deserve! Are you having a baby and are looking for support? Create a registry for support today and get gifted funds directly into your bank account to pay for your support team. You deserve this.
Are you a birthworker who supports new moms? Use BeHerVillage to help your clients pay for your support. Create your free profile here and you can be the best baby shower gift a mom will ever get!
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