Becoming a mom is like jumping into the deep end of a pool and dog-paddling with one arm while the other holds a newborn. It’s exhilarating, exhausting, and let’s be real, incredibly lonely at times. I was floored by how much my identity shifted overnight. Suddenly, my world was a blur of diapers, sleepless nights, and frantic Google searches about my latest insecurity. Thank goodness for my mom friends—a group of women who were just as unmoored and bewildered as I was. And let me tell you, these friendships? Absolute. Lifesavers. We met in our prenatal education class and right off the bat I knew they were my people. Same inappropriate sense of humor. Same excitement and near panic about what we had gotten ourselves into.
The Surprise of New Mom Isolation
Who knew that bringing a tiny human into the world could feel so lonely? Your identity does a 180, you spend most of every day alone (save the helpless baby you negotiate with to sleep; stop crying; give you a smile). Your pre-baby friends will no doubt be super excited for you, but they are not exactly in the trenches with you. That’s why finding other moms who are just as bleary-eyed as you is key. They get it. They’ve been there (probably as recently as this morning), and they’ll reassure you that, yes, it’s totally normal to cry because you dropped a pacifier in the grocery store.
Getting Out of the House: A Necessary Evil
Leaving the house with a newborn is like preparing for battle. You pack the diaper bag as if you’re going on a three-week expedition, only to realize you forgot the one thing you actually needed—wipes. But when you know you’re meeting up with other moms who are in the same boat, it suddenly feels a lot less terrifying. Together, you can laugh (or cry) about the fact that none of you have showered in days, and suddenly the world doesn’t feel quite as overwhelming.
Why You Need That Mom Network ASAP
Maternity leave is short. It passes in a haze of sleep deprivation and a basic-training style learning curve of all things baby. Before you know it, you’re back at work trying to remember what you used to do there. There is virtually no time to adjust to new motherhood and then build a community before your leave winds down. Having a network of other moms you can lean on from day one is crucial. These women become your sounding board, your cheerleaders, and sometimes your emergency babysitters. They’ll share their battle-tested tips for surviving the transition back to work, and they’ll be there with a glass of wine when you need to vent about it all.
The No-Judgment Zone
As a new mom, it sometimes feels like everyone has an opinion about everything—breastfeeding, sleep training, you name it. And social media highlights this even more. What moms really need is a place where they can ask the dumb questions and not feel like they will be judged. Being able to be real about fears and frustrations makes all the difference. It is in those spaces that you will find your people—women who are as clueless as you are but who were willing to figure it out together.
So yeah, those friendships I made during pregnancy and early motherhood? They saved my sanity. These women were my lifeline—through the 3 a.m. feedings, the postpartum blues, and the total chaos that is new parenthood. We laughed, we cried, and we survived. And as much as those early days are a blur, I know I wouldn’t have made it through without my moms by my side.
Jessica Hill is the founder of The Parent Collective, which seeks to equip expectant parents with the education and support they need to thrive during the early years of parenthood. Their in-person prenatal series is inspired by her own journey into motherhood and sorts participants by community and due date, with the aim of creating a local community of friends who can relate to the huge transitions of life with a new baby. To learn more visit: www.theparentcollective.com or follow on Instagram at @theparentcollectivetpc.
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