If you’re pregnant but you already have a little one at home to care for, you’re probably spending a decent amount of time thinking about what it’ll be like with multiple children, how the older one will adapt to a new baby, and how you’re going to split your time (while recovering). To ease this transition (for all parties), you’ll want to do a little planning so your older child feels loved, included, and entertained. Unlimited screen time and new toys might work for a little while, but for a transition that feels a little more supported for both you and your older kiddo, there are a few things you can think about ahead of time.
A new sibling can be a big adjustment for your older child
Which is probably no surprise to you. Some kids take to their baby siblings without any trouble, and some need time to warm up. Both situations are totally normal. When I had my second baby, my older kiddo felt a range of emotions from extreme excitement (like, couldn’t keep her hands off of the baby) to big time jealousy– and sometimes these emotions happened all within a day. It can be exhausting even if you’re well prepared for it, but knowing some of the reasons why one-on-one attention is important can help you navigate the ups and downs.
One-on-one attention helps to:
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Reinforce their importance: at the end of the day, your older kiddo wants to know that you love them no matter what. They need reassurance that they are still a vital part of their family even if everyone is spending a lot of time caring for and asking about the new baby.
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Provide stability: regular activities and attention can help them maintain a sense of normalcy and routine. A new baby is a big deal for an older child, so having their own little life still intact can be really helpful.
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Encourage positive relationships: when the older kiddo is feeling loved and supported, they’re going to be more likely to be open to bonding and forming a positive relationship. It helps reduce the feelings of sibling rivalry and jealousy.
Here are some ideas you might consider for your older child to help keep them engaged and happy so you can get some much needed r&r with your newborn
Have your visitors hang with the older kids
If your visitors love you (and we’ll assume they do), you can ask them to support you in the way you need them to. It might mean that they sit down and play a game with your child in the same room where you’re nursing your newborn, it might mean your visitor takes them for a trip to the playground, it can look any way that feels beneficial to the older child and helpful for the new mom.
Hire a sitter
Depending on who you hire and what your preferences and needs are, you can hire someone that comes to your home or someone that will take your older child out and about, or watch your child in their own home. This focused attention for your older kiddo will most likely be welcomed with open arms. Having a playmate and caregiver for a few hours solely dedicated to them can help them burn extra energy, feel “in charge” of their time for a while, and offer a change of scenery.
Hiring a sitter might also be a great option as someone who can hang for a couple hours with your baby during a big nap so you can hang with your big kid 1-on-1.
Have them attend camps or classes
Check for fun camps or kids classes that are locally based and organized by people you trust. Camps and classes usually run for a few hours at a time, offer a bit of educational or social-emotional development, and provide some fun activities that you might not have (or want to do) at home. There are opportunities for them to build great connections with other friends their age, build relationships with other trusted adults, and have a great time!
Use a postpartum doula
When you hire a postpartum doula, they’re dedicated to caring for your family in any way that helps the most for you and your family. If this means you’re with your newborn and the postpartum doula is hanging with the older child– awesome! Most postpartum doulas are well experienced and excited to help the big brother or sister get adjusted to their new sibling. Similarly, a postpartum doula can spend time with your baby while you take your big kid on an outing, read some books together, or build some Legos.
Don’t feel bad if you think you might need some extra hands-on help to give your older kiddo what they need while you’re navigating life with a newborn
There are plenty of benefits for new moms when her bigger kids are being cared for by a loving, supportive person other than herself:
Reduced Stress:
Knowing that your older children are well taken care of can really reduce stress levels and anxiety, allowing you to heal and rest.
Quality Time:
You can dedicate uninterrupted time to your newborn, which is crucial for both bonding and breastfeeding.
Recovery:
Recovering from pregnancy and birth means taking time for both your physical and your emotional needs. Having help with older children means you have the necessary space and time to dedicate to your recovery.
Why you should definitely put childcare onto your baby registry
When I had my second baby, I got to use the BeHerVillage registry which was so fun. A few of the custom services I added onto my registry included different childcare and activity options for my older kiddo. I was pleasantly surprised when my loved ones were more than happy to contribute to the cost of a little camp or group class for her. And it was really helpful to have the extra hands with my very active big girl, so I could really get some good rest and bond with my newborn.
People will be excited to give a gift that will benefit their older niece, grandson, little buddy, etc.
Family and friends who can’t be closeby to take your older kid on outings or hang out with them at your home will more than likely be totally on board with contributing to a gift that will bring their little pal some joy, while also giving you some rest.
Your loved ones who wish they could be there can give toward a gift
Your loved ones might not be able to make it to help you navigate life with another baby, but they’re probably going to want to help in some way. Giving them the option of contributing to child care of your older kiddo allows them to really nurture you, even if they’re far away.
Your family wants to see you well rested
They want you to rest and feel good so you can be the best mom you can to all of your kids. Adding child care to your baby registry means you’re setting yourself up for a really supported postpartum experience. Even if your loved ones are closeby, they can still contribute and help you and your older kiddo feel happy and fulfilled.
Thinking about the different ways you can get support for your older kid(s) while you’re getting ready for your newest baby will help you get the rest you need, will allow better bonding with the baby, and can help you maintain a great relationship with your older kiddo. Putting a space in your registry wishlist for childcare is something we definitely recommend as it benefits everyone.
BeHerVillage is helping parents like you get the funds they need for the support they deserve! Are you having a baby and are looking for support? Create a registry for support today and get gifted funds directly into your bank account to pay for your support team. You deserve this.
Are you a birthworker who supports new moms? Use BeHerVillage to help your clients pay for your support. Create your free profile here and you can be the best baby shower gift a mom will ever get!
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