When Breastfeeding Doesn't Work: Navigating Your Options
As a doula and mom of three, I’ve supported countless parents with feeding their babies. And, let me tell you, every single journey is unique. My own breastfeeding journey with my third baby didn’t go as planned. I’d breastfed my other two without a hitch, but with baby #3, breastfeeding was challenging in a way that left me feeling like I was starting from scratch. Part of what made that time so difficult was that I only knew how to breastfeed. I assumed it was going to be just as easy with my third baby, and when it wasn't I was unprepared. Even when you plan to breastfeed it's important to know about the other options and get familiar with them so that you don't get caught off guard like I did.
If you’re in a similar situation, feeling discouraged, or wondering what to do when breastfeeding doesn’t work, I hope you’ll feel comforted by all the different ways you can provide nutrition for your baby. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all solution, and fed is always best. Here are some alternatives to explore:
Alternative Feeding Options
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Pumping and Supplementing: If breastfeeding isn’t fully working but you want to offer some breastmilk, try mixing breastfeeding sessions with pumped milk. Even if it’s just one bottle here and there, every bit counts!
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Exclusive Pumping: For some parents, pumping exclusively and feeding breastmilk in a bottle is a great solution. This gives your baby the benefits of breastmilk while allowing you the flexibility of bottle-feeding. Remember, exclusive pumping takes dedication, and using a quality pump and building a schedule that works for you is essential.
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Informal Milk Sharing: For those interested in breastmilk alternatives but not producing milk themselves, informal milk sharing can be an option. Listen to our podcast episode on informal breastmilk sharing, you can learn how to navigate this route safely, and meet other parents willing to share excess milk.
- Formula Feeding: For many, formula is an amazing alternative, especially when breastfeeding or pumping isn’t a sustainable option. Formula is designed to be safe and nutritious, meeting all the necessary standards to help your baby grow and thrive. Finding a formula your baby tolerates and enjoys can be a game-changer.
Finding What Works for You
The reality is that there’s no “right” way to feed your baby, and what works may shift over time. I personally found comfort in a mix of strategies that kept my baby fed and me sane, and each family’s combination will be unique. Keep in mind:
- It’s okay to try different methods until you find what works best for both you and your baby.
- Support is out there. Doulas, lactation consultants, and online communities can be invaluable resources on this journey. You can find professionals to help (and the funds to pay for them) on BeHerVillage.
- Taking care of your well-being is just as important. Feeding your baby is part of nurturing your family, and so is feeling at peace with your choices.
You’ve Got This
However you choose to feed your baby, know that you’re providing love, care, and nutrition. Sometimes breastfeeding doesn't work the way we imagined, and that’s okay. Every meal, however it’s delivered, is a gift of nourishment to your little one. If you’re feeling uncertain or overwhelmed, reach out, ask for support, and give yourself grace. You’re doing amazing.
BeHerVillage is helping parents like you get the funds they need for the support they deserve! Are you having a baby and are looking for support? Create a registry for support today and get gifted funds directly into your bank account to pay for your support team. You deserve this.
Are you a birthworker who supports new moms? Use BeHerVillage to help your clients pay for your support. Create your free profile here and you can be the best baby shower gift a mom will ever get!
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