To All the Pregnant Mamas in Quarantine

It isn’t easy, Mama. 
Accepting that this pregnancy was not what you’d expected. 
That you would go from making plans of meeting a doula and organizing your shower, to plans of how to not contract the virus and keep your child alive. 
It isn’t easy, Mama. 
That your only goal is now to keep her safe, to stay inside. 
“Wash your hands.” 
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t touch that.”
“Don’t touch me.”
“Six feet.”
“Wear a mask.”
“Please. I just want my kid to live.”
“Please.”

I see you, Mama. 
Carrying your sweet babe amid a global pandemic. 
I see your fear, and hold it with me as though it is my own. 
I see you sacrificing what you once dreamed your pregnancy would be. 
I see your every attempt to keep your child and yourself safe, as though it has become your only purpose in life. 

I hear you, Mama. 
I hear you making new adjustments to your birth plan, as it is stripped from you to accommodate new policies and protocols for the safest arrival of your baby. 
I hear your cries at night, as you mourn the loss of what you had imagined your pregnancy and birth to be. 
Mourning your wishes - even mourning your loved ones lost. 

I feel you, Mama. 
I feel the aching in your heart and the guilt of bringing your child earthside at a time like this. 
I feel the void of missing out on the full experience of carrying your sweet babe. 
I feel the loneliness at every prenatal visit, as your partner cheers you on from a distance. 

I see you. I hear you. I feel you. 

There are no visits from friends or family. No rubbing of the belly with big, grinning faces. There is no big party in celebration of your little one. No doula. No birthing classes. No “new mom” meet-ups. It is nothing like you pictured. 

But there is you. 

And you are doing it all, Mama. 
In a time that not one soul could have prepared you for, here you are. 
Here you are, keeping her safe. 
Here you are, doing your best. 
Here you are, being her home. 
You may have always existed, but for the very first time, here you are.