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Breastfeeding is one of those things that’s deeply personal, endlessly talked about, and surrounded by all kinds of advice (some helpful, some not so much). Before my first baby, I was sure I’d breastfeed. I had done the reading, taken the classes, and thought I was as ready as anyone could be. And yet, when the time came, I quickly realized that breastfeeding is as much a mental game as it is a physical one. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my own experience as a mom and as a doula, it’s this: your mindset matters.
Let’s talk about getting into the right headspace for breastfeeding—a mindset that’s determined, flexible, and open to whatever feeding journey your baby needs.
Be Determined
Determination is an essential part of breastfeeding. It’s waking up in the middle of the night, blurry-eyed and exhausted, and latching your baby anyway. It’s committing to keep going even when it’s hard—because let’s be real, the early days of breastfeeding often are. Determination doesn’t mean forcing yourself to stick it out no matter what. It means being prepared to give breastfeeding your best shot, gathering the resources and support you need, and setting yourself up for success.
One way to strengthen your determination is by getting clear about your “why.” Why do you want to breastfeed? For me, it was the health benefits for my baby and the bond we’d build. Write it down and revisit it on the hard days when you’re questioning whether it’s worth it (hint: it is).
Be Flexible
While determination is crucial, flexibility is just as important. The truth is, breastfeeding doesn’t always go as planned. Maybe your baby has trouble latching, your milk takes a while to come in, or you experience pain or supply issues. Flexibility means being open to solutions—whether that’s pumping, supplementing, or even using formula when needed. It means letting go of perfection and embracing what works for you and your baby.
With my third baby, I struggled with breastfeeding issues. It wasn’t what I expected after breastfeeding my first two kids with minimal challenges, but I learned to be gentle with myself. Instead of focusing on what wasn’t working, I celebrated what was: the closeness of nursing, the times I could pump enough, and the fact that my baby was happy and thriving, no matter how she was fed.
Be Open
Being open means recognizing that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to feeding your baby. Some parents exclusively breastfeed, others pump or supplement, and some use donor milk or formula from day one. All of these are valid, loving ways to nourish your baby. What matters most is that you’re feeding your baby in a way that works for your family.
Openness also means trusting yourself and your baby. Babies have amazing instincts, and your body knows how to adapt to their needs. Sometimes, being open is about stepping back from all the advice and simply listening to what feels right for you and your little one.
Finding the Balance
Balancing determination, flexibility, and openness isn’t always easy, but it’s the key to a peaceful breastfeeding journey. Here are some tips to help you find that balance:
- Set Goals, but Stay Adaptable: Write down your breastfeeding goals, but give yourself permission to adjust them as needed.
- Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with people who encourage and support your feeding choices, whether that’s a partner, lactation consultant, or a trusted friend.
- Celebrate Every Win: Whether it’s a great latch, a good pumping session, or simply getting through a tough day, acknowledge your efforts and progress.
- Be Kind to Yourself: Remember that feeding your baby is just one part of motherhood. You’re doing an amazing job, no matter how you’re feeding your baby.
My Favorite Tip: Write It Down
When I was pregnant, I wrote down my goals for breastfeeding and the steps I’d take to get there. I made a list of lactation consultants to call, bookmarked helpful resources, and even included reminders like “hydrate” and “rest.” Writing it down helped me feel grounded and gave me a sense of control, even when things felt overwhelming.
Use BeHerVillage to Fund Your Breastfeeding Journey
One of the most powerful ways to prepare for breastfeeding is to use a BeHerVillage registry. With BeHerVillage, you can ask friends and family to contribute to the things that really matter, like a lactation consultant or postpartum doula. Instead of traditional baby gifts, you can build a registry that supports you and your baby in the ways you need most.
Start your BeHerVillage registry here and take one more step toward a confident, supported breastfeeding journey.
You’ve Got This, Mama
Breastfeeding is a journey, and every journey looks different. Some days will feel magical, and others might feel like an uphill climb. No matter what, remember this: you are doing an incredible job, and your love and care for your baby are what matter most. Take it one day at a time, lean on your support network, and trust that you and your baby will figure it out together. You’ve got this!
Want more tips on setting yourself up for breastfeeding success? Listen to my intervew with Francie Webb, doula and IBCLC, and hear her tips for what you can do during pregnancy to help you reach your feeding goals.
BeHerVillage is helping parents like you get the funds they need for the support they deserve! Are you having a baby and are looking for support? Create a registry for support today and get gifted funds directly into your bank account to pay for your support team. You deserve this.
Are you a birthworker who supports new moms? Use BeHerVillage to help your clients pay for your support. Create your free profile here and you can be the best baby shower gift a mom will ever get!
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