Oh the Things You Will Learn

Written by: Louise Parker, Holistic Wellness Coach
Posted: October 28, 2020
10 years ago when I was pregnant with my first baby, I was blissfully ignorant. I was the first in my friend group to take the baby plunge, so I legit had absolutely no clue what I was doing ;) 

I spent my first trimester in total shock - it wasn’t a planned pregnancy, so there was that. But I was also in shock about how my body knew exactly what to do. Without my knowledge or guidance, my body was doing exactly what it was designed to do - while I spent my days puking and exhausted, it was growing a brain.

My second trimester was blissfully better. The nausea stopped, and I made the most of it. We traveled all over, and dreamed of baby names, and nursery ideas, and baby clothes. I bought a music belt so the baby could listen to Mozart & Beethoven. I read to the baby. I dreamed.

In my third trimester I was a swollen mess. I was the biggest I had ever been in my life, during one of the snowiest winters on record in MA. Not being able to get outside much helped me to grow even bigger, but it also gave me the time to plan my labor and delivery down to the tiniest detail. I researched, I planned, I wrote, I re-wrote, I typed, I printed, I laminated. I went ALL IN on this labor plan.

And yes, you might see that my anxiousness about the unknown was transplanted to trying to plan and control EVERYTHING…and you wouldn’t be wrong!


I was terrified of the labor, and so all my focus went into that. I put absolutely ZERO work or thought into what would happen after the baby was actually born. I just thought that part would come naturally. I would be a natural mother. Breastfeeding would be a breeze. Our lives wouldn’t change that much, we’d just take the baby with us wherever we went. 

Pah! The labor and delivery ended up happening. They were fine, long, but fine. Our beautiful, amazing, miracle baby girl was born. But now what…?! I had literally no clue what to do now. I was exhausted after a 36 hour labor, I was high on hormones and adrenaline, and I was about as ignorant as they come. 

We got home 3 days later, and I wished, I soooo wished that I had done things differently. Already I could see that the labor and delivery happen. No matter what I had dreamed or planned for, I had so little control. 

I could see that I should have put my research focus elsewhere. Like how the heck to take care of MYSELF and my baby during that confusing, magical, exhausting, frustrating, beautiful, overwhelming fourth trimester.


So now this is what I do. I help mamas learn from my own mistakes! I empower and mentor new mamas to take care of themselves in the fourth trimester. I help them to advocate for themselves, to listen to their own intuition, to slow down, to be mindful, to meditate, to deepen their connection with themselves and their beautiful new baby. All the things that I WISH I had done for myself before that first baby came along and changed my life forever!

And now…3 babes later, I am so honored to be able to pay this gift of experience and knowledge forward to other new mamas.




** To read more about Louise Parker, you can follow her on IG @louisesimplyfit, follow her own blog at www.louisesimplyfit.com/blog, you can read about her transition to health coach on the Maternal Spotlight blog https://www.maternalspotlight.org/blog/formerly-a-social-worker, and browse her Fourth Trimester Support Packages on the Be Her Village Baby Registry - just search for Louise Parker **
Category: Parenthood,
Tagged With: pregnancy support, birth, pregnancy, self compassion, new mom advice, self care, holistic wellness, motherhood,